This was a story I originally posted on my personal blog, but I thought it would reach a greater audience here…
A little background with the story, the friend I was referring to below was none other than William, fellow site administrator. After he came and told me he was HIV+, it encouraged me to start taking an active role with my own HIV status. After all, he got me to volunteer my time and efforts with this project. Thanks buddy. =)
20 July 2007
Tonight, one of my closest friends told me he tested positive for HIV.
Almost a year ago, I took him on the roof of his apartment for a cigarette break and told him about my status. He didn’t know what to say, but regardless he gave me a hug. His acceptance was really all I could ask for.
Now tonight when roles were reversed, I admit that I was thrown off a bit. After taking a second to collect, I asked how he was dealing with the diagnosis. Of course this brought up the fears, concerns, and questions I had a year ago. In remembering how I accepted my positive status, I realized that early on I rationalized the virus while focusing on achieving optimal health. When morbid thoughts would creep into my head, I repeatedly gave myself a pep talk. By putting HIV in perspective I realized that nowadays its a manageable chronic illness much like heart disease and high blood pressure. Also with our current technology, all the new medications, and the fast advancing treatments, it is now very easy to live long productive MEANINGFUL lives. But I digress…he assured me that the worst is over and that he is now “trying to maintain some sort of normalcy.” Bravo.
He then asked me how the HI Virus affects me today. I told him that I’m not always aware of it. If anything, I now have a greater awareness and understanding of how each and every choice affects my body. Whether it’s deciding not to smoke marijuana with old buds or deciding to go on that once-in-a-lifetime research trip to the Philippines, I have become more conscious than ever about my mortality…and I only take that in the most positive of ways (lame pun totally not intended).
Henry, you have every right to make the memories but be around long enough to cherish them.
I probably have never had a more consistent and rigorous workout schedule in my life, nor have I ever had as many beneficial coping mechanisms (the power or prayer and meditation does WONDERS) as I do now. I even manage having a healthy loving relationship with an HIV negative man. I have never been healthier nor happier in my entire life…maybe that’s why my God sent me that wake up call.
Thank you for disclosing that to me, friend. I feel truly honored to be trusted with that. I understand how hard it was to tell anyone, even if I came to you first. Though I too am still figuring out my place in the HIV world, I hope that you always feel safe coming to me about anything. After all, this is OUR experience. Love you.
Henry is a co-founder of the HIV Youth Project. You may contact him at henry@hivproject.org.
WHAT TO DO NOW?